Indio, California: Admissions to the poetry contest have closed. Thanks to every poet contributing their work to the competition. Below are the poetic masterpieces submitted, unedited, in the order they were received. Please read the poems and vote for your favorite via email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Voting is open until midnight pacific Sunday, April 6, 2014. Submit your vote by including the number of your favorite poem. Please vote only once; duplicate votes will be deleted. The poem with the most votes will receive a toilet chemical gift basket from Unique Distribution.
Tip toe, through the tulips,
to the toilet, with a news-paper,
where you’ll sit there, for an hour, on the pot!
Tip toe, through the tulips,
to the bathroom, to the toilet where you’ll pour in,
the Unique so the stink will stop!
Oh how I treasure my motor home’s throne,
available for use wherever I roam.
There is never a need to wait in a line,
no asking for commode use in the places I dine.
My toilet on wheels is truly unique,
it adds to my travels and life-style mystique.
So if ever you wonder why RVer’s do it…
It’s because when it comes to public restrooms;
we’re just not into it.
As(s) I sit upon my throne
In my little Class C home
I like to think I am the best
A clean black tank that passed the test!
Now this might seem a tad Unique,
But I am on a winning streak~
I used RV Digest in my tank
and have the charming RV Goddess to thank
I’d like to win, but shall not gush
Instead I’ll chuckle when I flush…
My RV toilet, bless its heart
Closed its lid right from the start
When I lashed out for all to hear
Because black tank was full of fear
My situation looked so bleak
But surely it is not unique
I clean and flush to no avail
And still my black tank sensors fail
“John,” I asked, “What did you do?”
John replied, “Go ask the loo”
Loo said “Argh! Our cover’s blown!”
And passed the buck on to the throne
Throne refused to take the load
And gave it back to the commode
But the commode just wouldn’t speak
Would only talk if fed Unique
What is this that I must provide
So the can will gain some pride
The pot protecting tank that’s black
While owner figures plan of attack
Searching, searching for a cure
How much sludge can tank endure
A blog appears to rescue me
It shows the way to be free
Of sensor woes and toilet blues
I finally found just what to use
Rv Digest-It saves the day
The sensors work — hip hip hooray!
Tissue an issue?
Do not freak; use UNIQUE
Lore, humor, mystique
All knowledge passed unique
As RVers pause to unload
Hail dump stations along the road.
There was a man from Nantucket
Who had to poop in a bucket.
The smell, it did reek!
He used something Unique,
And no one had to muck it.
Oh, dear commode, with your porcelain ring,
You greet my behind as if I were king,
Some call you John, the can, or even head,
After visiting you, I’m always well-read
You’re behind closed doors, where it is safe to take a selfie
Or where a concerned mother may enter to ensure it is healthy
You’ve borne witness to unique smells, and probably a toot
And you come in all colors and styles to boot
Oh wonderful commode, you’ve advanced in a rush
From a hole in the ground, to automatic flush
You can be portable, or in some lands require a squat
But you’re always there for me, my dear friend, the pot
Sometimes I find you very dirty, like when I stop for gas
There I employ the hoover-method, to keep my spotless *ss
I prefer it when you’re sanitary, or better yet sparkling clean
After a good visit with you, I often feel quite lean
You can reside in the lavatory, the loo or WC,
No mind what you’re called when it’s an emergency
If I had my pick, I’d say “the little girl’s room” above the rest
Oh, my lovely commode, you truly are the best
There was a young man with a dream
Thought maybe a shiny Air Stream
Maybe something unique
Odds seemed to be bleak
How bout a motorhome
The reason for this here poem
So search he did still
For what fit the bill
Alas the day came
Ending that long searching game
A forty five foot machine
Oh man, it was keen
So travel he did
Felt just like a kid
Fine people he met
Most with a pet
Feeling like a pure ace
He came to a place
Which thru his finesse
Met the RV Goddess
This is no bull
Life is now full
SPECIAL TO RV GODDESS READERS:
Unique Distribution is offering $2 off any and all products purchased on their website through April 16th. Use the coupon code rvgoddess at checkout.
Until my next update, I remain, your contested correspondent.
RV PARK: The Motorcoach Country Club – The Crown Jewel of Motorcoach Resorts. 400 sites, three pools, three spas, fitness center, golf, bocce ball, tennis, 2-mile waterway, fine-dining restaurant, bar, security, planned activities, perfectly maintained. Sites for sale or rent.